Friday, October 31, 2008

A Life Without Love

"Can't stop smiling, then I feel like crying. Laughter and heartache and we're all looking for something. Tears flow with no end, but then he makes me smile again. My joy and my pain, but I wouldn't trade it for nothing. Never thought it'd be this rough, but I never want to give it up. I don't wanna have a life without love"-Jazmine Sullivan

A life without love is mediocre at best. Not knowing love is the greatest injustice on earth, aside from knowing love and having it taken away from you without being able to do anything to stop it. As little girls we watch and read fairytales of beautiful princesses who are essentially the epitome of good. Something bad happens to them and their prince comes and saves them. That prince is EVERYTHING that they've ever dreamed of and they SAVE them. Yes darlings, despite what we say we ALL just want to be saved. So when we get older we begin to watch and read longer fairytales called romance novels and movies. We hold on to the fact that in the books/movies something TERRIBLE is gonna happen, and the girl(or princess) is gonna end up hurt, but by the end of the movie the man(or prince) comes up with the most romantic way to say "I'm sorry. I was wrong", and she cries, they kiss and hug, and they live happily ever after! THEN to add alcohol to the OPEN cut.......CARRIE AND MR. BIGG GET MARRIED...flatlines.....wakes up.....flatlines again.
Who the fuck are these twisted bastards that are TRYING to make us put up with stupid bullshit so that find that fairytale/Sex And The City ending? Who do you know ON EARTH that ended up with their Mr. BIGG....not one single solitary bitch! Sorry if the Bword offends you. This shit doesn't now you end up alone....
So what is a life without love??? Darkness. Complete and total darkness. The only light you see is the light you make yourself, and after a while that light is too dim to make you want to keep it going. A life without love is tiring...very tiring, because you're always looking, searching, expecting, hoping, wishing, planning, praying that its right around the corner....and at every corner you turn you still find....nothing.
So what's a girl to do??? Keep hoping. Keep pressing. Keep praying, because eventually something is bound to happen, and even if it doesn't its when you lose hope that the world becomes dark and cold. Now I don't claim to be a beacon of light and hope but I will say that I can't give up on a life with love. Why? Because I was made to love and if that hope dies in me, so will I. If the hope of my soul does perish, so do I. When the light of hope flickers and burns out, so do I. Because essentially I am love. I give love. I write love. I sing love. I hope for love. I do love. I receive love.
I want a love that stays up all night talking. A love that smiles when I walk in a room. A love that is honest at all times. A love that likes to play. A love that likes to laugh. A love that calls to say "Baby I was thinking about you, and I just want to say I love you"....and MEAN it. A love that won't take my generosity for granted. A love that appreciates the effort. A love that sends a text just because. A love that WANTS to get married. A love that is with me because of me, and not because of what I possess(sp). A love that talks to me deeper than any talk I've had before. A love that speaks to my soul causing an awakening that I didn't know I needed. A love that tears down the wall around my heart. A love that will dance in the Purple Rain with me. A love that loves my friends, but doesn't WANT them in the same way that he wants me. I want a love of a lifetime. A story to tell my grandkids kind of love. A love that will look at me in 50 years and still believe that I am the prettiest woman in the world. An old love. A love that transcends space and time. A love that traps you and won't let you go, because he never wants to let you go. A man to woman love. A grown up kind of love. An I was made for you type of love. A life changing love. A REAL LOVE.
So what's a life without love??? I hope to never know its sadness. I hope to never feel its chill. I hope to never understand its full meaning, because I am pressing for the love of a lifetime, and hoping that MY Mr. Bigg is pressing for me too! :-)


Lina said...

now sometimes the one you think may be your mr. bigg is your aiden. if you were made to love, then the kind of love you want will find you. it may not be in the person you expect (and you can block your chances by being hung up on the one who doesn't love you) and it may not be when you expect it, but it will be there. You have to open yourself up to love in order for you to receive it or it to come to you.

I don't want to live a life without love, and I pray that I wont have to suffer through life without it.

Skyler Nicole said...

now this blog - and the first line of Lina's comment just PREACHED to me!!!!!! I'm always enVISIONing my "happy BEGINNING..." because without that vision - I perish...

I was created BY Love - am sustained IN love - and completed THROUGH love.

Great Words,