New Years Eve!!!! Yay 2008!

I'm Gonna Make A Change,

For Once In My Life

It's Gonna Feel Real Good,

Gonna Make A Difference

Gonna Make It Right . . .

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror

I'm Asking Him To ChangeHis Ways

And No Message Could HaveBeen Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change

Michael Jackson- Man in the Mirror

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Enjoy ALL of my random moments…and not look for anyone else to complete me

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Probably not. I actually stopped making them for the simple fact that I don’t think about them after about a week….or less.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yep….2 of my cousins gave birth this year. Yay Leshia and Brent!!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yep. My Uncle Richard….RIP dude

5. What countries did you visit?

None…I was soooooooooo Ga centered this year!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A real relationship. I’m at the point now where I want to just chill out with someone who’s consistently there, and wants to be around me as much, or more than I want to be around them. I want to actually like a whole person, and not just bits and pieces of anyone that is not him. Selah

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?No specific date that I can recall….Nicka’s bday was bunches and bunches of fun though!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Making it out with my sanity still in tact. Screw you pal…that’s a major accomplishment…ask Katt Williams.
…..and winning almost EVERY TIME!!! I ROCK!!!

9. What was your biggest failure?Staying in comfortability even when it wasn’t always good for me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope….didn’t really get sick at all this year! YAY me! I’m awesome!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Probably my work shoes….they’re so old fashioned, yet they’re VERY comfortable….I love them!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Probably Nicka’s and Jen’s…their always GREAT.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one’s really. I may have been unhappy with a few peoples choices, but I am CLEARLY not gonna let them depress me…it’s SOOOO not that serious!

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills and Food…and an occasional drink ;-)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My Birthday. I always enjoy my birthday to the fullest.
HOMECOMING!!! Valdosta State’s Homecoming was SOOOO much fun! No other comments needed ;-)
Morehouse and Spelman’s homecoming always gives me life!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Every good album that came out this year!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…2008 WAS THE BEST MUSICAL YEAR EVER! Everybody dropped FIRE this year!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

- i. happier or sadder? MUCH Happier

- ii. thinner or fatter? Ha! Fatter…no comment!

- iii. richer or poorer? Pretty much the same….I’m hoping for an EXTREME financial boost in 2009!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Saved money, and maybe actually dated more….not screwed…dated.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Probably smoking, but I’ve kicked that habit though. Actually it wasn't really a habit, just something to do because I was bored....and of course at parties and such. Now that I think about it...I never really liked them. Oh wait...I told Nicka that a long time ago. Goodbye Djarum Black!

20. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Nope….I lived in love in 2008…lol

21. How many one-night stands?

None YAY ME!!!!

22. What was your favorite TV program?

CHARMED!!!! Can anyone help me find the episode where Pru dies???....and the one after.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope…I don’t waste my time hating. Its just NOT that damn serious!
24. What was the best book you read?

The Color Purple….I’ve read it countless times, but it never ceases to amaze me.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

BACKGROUND….everything about background…the vocalz, the music, the arrangements, the instruments…all that.

26. What did you want and get?

Good dick

27. What did you want and not get?

A bust-it baby! LMAO!

28. What were your favorite films of this year?

SEX AND THE CITY!!!! *faints*

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26, and I had a whole weeks worth of fun with my real friends! I love them!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Probably a REAL relationship, but 2008 was all in all a really good year. I’ll put it like this….at least it wasn’t a 2006!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Just Me!...nothing given nothing taken!

32. Who kept you sane?

DEFINITELY Nicka, Jen, DJ, and Renwick....do doubt about it! I love you guys! You ROCK!!! lol!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Beyonce….she’s great…stop hatin. Sorry

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The 2008 Primaries! Yay Barack Obama!

35. Whom did you miss?

My Uncle Jesse

36. Who was the best new person(s) you met?

Samone….didn’t actually meet her this year, but I got close to her, and she’s the greatest!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

Make every moment count. Tell everyone you love that you love them because tomorrow’s really not promised.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

THE WHOLE BRANDY ALBUM!!!! *faints*

Goodbye 2008!
HELLO 2009!!!!

I'm Starting With the Man LOOKING at the Man in the Mirror....

A Summer's Disregard,

A Broken Bottle Top

And A One Man's Soul

They Follow Each Other OnThe Wind Ya' Know

'Cause They Got NowhereTo Go

That's Why I Want You ToKnow

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror

I'm Asking Him To ChangeHis Ways

And No Message Could HaveBeen Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The WorldA Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself,

AndThen Make A Change

-Michael Jackson: Man in the Mirror

Let me start this blog by saying that Brandy was PHENOMENAL!!!! I sincerely enjoyed the whole set...even Slim who I absolutely did not want to see!

Now on to real matters...
I often analyze myself....just to make sure that I'm still a good person, and that I'm someone who I'd like to hang around. So I was kind of shaken when this dude told me last week, upon me telling him that he doesn't have to lie, that I was mad because he "don't really have to do anything, and the only reason you don't like my answer is because you don't have to either. Please don't take that the wrong way". Ummm...what other way are you supposed to take that?

Anyhoo...so I got to analyzing immediately. I searched and searched myself to see if the only reason I do things for people is because I want something back. It took me almost a week to FINALLY come to the conclusion that I'd been trying to reach since I texted him back. Lots of times people do things for others, that they sometimes don't want to do, because they care about them. *lightbulb* It's just that simple. When you care about someone you sometimes make decisions just so that the people that they care about are a little happier. It can be as small as making an egg sandwich*hmph ;)* or as large as going out of your way to attend something that the person is having....whether you really want to be there or not. That seems to be common courtesy within my circle. Caring for someone is not simply a means to an end. You don't care about a person just so they'll care about you...that impossible. If they don't care...they just dont' care. That's the real answer.

Selah....
Just my thoughts on today.

Breathe....Just Breathe....I CAN'T!!!!

I'll just start this blog of by screaming to EVERYONE.....I'M GOING TO THE BRANDY CONCERT TONIGHT!!!!
I can't breathe....I can't breathe.....I can't breathe!!!!
I just can't believe it! My cuzzin got me tickets to see BRANDY in a private concert! I don't have words for this moment. 2008 has been the best!!!! OMG!!! I have had some majorly bad moments, but all in all I'M GOOD! I just can't believe it!

I will come back tomorrow with FULL commentary!

I bid you farewell *faints*

Camouflage

These flaws I got They're a part of who I am

Take me or not But I finally understand

And I’m so done trying to be everything you want

I had to stop 'Cause baby you ain’t worth it

If I've got to camouflage

For love, for love

-Brandy (Human-Camouflage 2008)

It's so funny to me how people really do affect what you say and do. Even if you just think about it momentarily, you've been effected. I am amazed at how this blog, which was first meant to be an outlet for my many many many thoughts, has become my new bondage. I feel like I can't really be honest about what I feel here, because people will still read it, and eventually comment about what I've said. Clearly if I wanted your verbal commentary I wouldn't have wasted my time, and my 50+ wpm to write it. This is my place. My outlet. Yes I am very blunt...when asked, and unemotional about a lot of things but sometimes I need to just let shit out too. That doesn't change my perspective on anything, it just makes me pause to make sure that I gave advise in the right way. I am a woman. We do get emotional, we do have bad days, we do love hard, we do get hurt(more often than not actually), and we do keep it pushing. Basically if you are coming here just to see if I'm going to say something about you then please feel free to not come here ever again. If you are coming here so that you're able to throw this shit up in my face later, then PLEASE feel free to permanently remove my blog address from you memory. I wanna say what I have to say. Sometimes I don't want to be grammatically correct, and sometimes I DO wanna talk about the fact that have loved a bullshit ass nigga, yes I said it BULLSHIT ASS NIGGA, and I can because it's my blog. If you know me personally treat this as if this really is someone you've never met, comment in the box, and we'll keep it pushing from there. This is my outlet, and I don't want to be confined here. There is absolutely no point in that.

Now that I've gotten that off of my chest.....

It's weird how people do honestly expect people to give/show love in the same way that they do. I know I'm guilty of it, and most people I know are guilty of it. However, there are just some things you do because its just common fuckin courtesy. If we are cool and I ask you to do something and you say no, then cool, but PULEEZE don't give me a bullshit ass reason that you didn't and then be rude to me if I call you on it. It's bullshit!!! Trying to turn it around on me won't make it not be bullshit. I take responsibility for my stupid decisions, and will let you have the fact that I make stupid decisions OFTEN in different parts of my life. I'm just saying what's the point of a friendship if I can only rely on you when I'm crying? That's just dumb. Shit...I want a friend when I'm happy too! I want a friend that celebrates me. I want a friend who I don't have to ALWAYS assume the worst about. I want to know that you do honestly care about me. I want a friend who won't make me feel like less of a person. I want a friend who actually HAS friends, and not just homeboys, homegirls, and folk!!! What the fuck is that? Could it be that yoy don't have friends because you don't know how to be friends. It's easy....just be NICE! I won't change me. I'm a pretty good person, flawed...yes, but pretty good. It's just in me to give to people. Give of myself, of my time, of my heart, of my talents, and of my money when I got it like that. I will not camouflage me. But I guess this just goes to show that I am your friend, but you CLEEEAAARLY are not mine. Cool....get some and keep it pushin.

W00-saaaaaaahhhh.

Okay I'm better now.

This ain't a deep blog, but it is how I was feeling.

Selah.

Just Fall....well....Maybe 8-/

It's not easy giving up trust

And not be scared a little bit?

Then your heart is questioning if you could really handle it

Don't wanna fall alone

So, will you catch me?

Save me?

And tell me I'll be safe right here

And if are you the one that's scared

So, baby come and fall right here

Just fall

-Brandy (Human:Fall)

What happens when your present reality is not real at all? What happens if what you taste, see, touch, FEEL is not real at all??? What happens then? Is it fair to tell someone that something that is SOOOO good to them is really bad? I don't think so.....but I just don't know.

Someone told me a story once about a girl who was completely in a relationship with this guy. He was everything that she wanted and needed. He was always there for her, and came whenever she called. Then....she found out that he had a GIRLFRIEND....*faints*....but mostly because him and they other girl had been together for so long. You see, from all points of her(as well as some of her friends) he love her. He really did love her. So she decided to stay. Who are we to condemn her for making a decision that works for her. If he is everything that she needs then who's to say that her reality is not really real? Again, if you can touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it, and CALL it(and it answers) then that's real for her.....right?

I had one of those not reality real moments this week. I got to spend some time with this guy that I kinda like. It's nothing major, but he's a cool dude. Because this was my birthday week I was in a pretty good mood, right until I went to work and they told me that I had to re-apply for my fucking job....but selah. So went to see my friend, just to spend some time. Normally we laugh, and joke, and watch TV, or drink or just do some ole random shit. This time we just layed. I wasn't in the best mood, I mean I did get partially fired, so I just played my NEW BRANDY CD for him. Sidenote: BRANDY IS A-FREAKIN-MAZING!!!! Back to the subject. So he's a pretty touchy-feely kind of a guy and that's part of what I like about him. Because I've known this guy for a little minute, even before we started kickin it, he automatically knew something was wrong with me. He pushed and pushed and pushed for answers but I didn't really feel like talking about it. So he told me to give him a hug. Now because I was laying on the sofa I just kinda half heartedly reached my arms out. He then came across the sofa and gently laid his head in the area between my breast and my neck, wrapped his arms around my body, and began to tell me that everything would be okay. I mean this was a VERY TV moment. As we laid there entangled together I began to breathe him in. This moment was so amazing. No distractions, no TV, no word needed, no thoughts of anyone else, just us. BUT....because I am who I am I couldn't fully take this in. The moment was everything I've ever wanted. This moment was the moment I see in my head when I think about my bf/husband....an intimate moment just for us. But in that I just couldn't get my mind to just be still and fully enjoy it. Because I always feel a need to protect myself I kept reminding myself that this person doesn't belong to me, that this moment is only gonna last for a minute and may never happen again...because he's not mine. So as I laid there, loving and hating the moment, I decided to just let it all go. At that moment that situation was my reality. What I felt was real, what I touched was real, what I smelled was real....it was a real moment....and I gave in to it. I laid there and held that man, and he held me. I kissed him like we would be together forever. I let him breathe me in, and enjoy the comfort of my arms. I was happy in that reality...

Random musings of a Strawberry Lifesavers...

The suspense is building.

I'm on the edge of my seat now.

What's the surprise?

What's the surprise?

What's the surprise?

-Brandy (Human 2008)

I feel like being real random today. I feel like I should share some of my weirdness with you.

-BRANDY'S NEW ALBUM WILL BE OUT ON TUESDAY DECEMBER 9, 2008!!!!!
I'm not sure if you're a Brandy fan or not, but this is a BIG fucking deal!!! Pretty good day too!

-I HATE WINTER
Why is it sooooo cold outside. I mean, wearing layers and layers of clothes JUST to not die while you are outside for 5 minutes. Then you get inside and you burn up. On top of the fact that on the ONE day that you don't wear so many layers its also cold INSIDE. Can somebody fly me to Hawaii for the winter??? Grrrr....

-MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!!!!
December 9th!....and I don't have a damn thing planned. Sooooo unlike me and the peoples not be unprepared for a bday. Maybe I will have some ole random outta the blue type fun....or not because that alwasy leads to trouble, but I kinda like it ;-)

-I BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS THE BEST MUSICAL YEAR OF MY LIFE!!!!
So many good artist dropped FIRE this year. Lets recap shall we....even though I'm sure I'll forget someone:
BRANDY IS COMING!!!

BEYONCE: this was wonderful to me because you actually got to hear her SING, and I'm sure that the tour will be BANANAS!!! I have no doubt. Hate on the girl if you want, but it ain't many people that can TOUCH her in vocalz, entertainment value, and yes even artistry(even though she steals)

JASMINE SULLIVAN: the AMAZINGNESS that I thought that this cd would be was sadly not even close to what it actually was. I think someone is trying to END her career. The song choices SUCKED, the backs couldn't even TOUCH the backs on the leaked tracks, the lyrics left sooooo much to be desired, and to top it all of 6 OR MORE OF THE 12 TRACKS had BEEEEEEN out. The only reason this cd did ANYTHING at all for me was because she STILL has an amazing voice. Despite someones best efforts to ruin her you can still hear the absolute wonderful voice that lies beneath the garbage. I am sooooo happy that she was pretty well received by the masses, which means that MAYBE she'll do a better job on the next project.

JOE- *sighs because she can't speak* I have ALWAYS been a fan of Joe. "No One Else Comes Close" used to get me EVERY time. Joe's cd is complete and total FIRE from beginning to end. Joe left NOTHING to be desired, except for the wish that his management would promote the damn album. He has AMAZING lyrics, vocalz, backs, music......EVERYTHING!!! He sincerely brought ALL of his A game on this cd.....no words.

KERI HILSON: I'm not even sure if her cd is actually out or not, but I will say that this AMAZING writer is killing so many people with her voice right now. You VERY RARELY find someone with market appeal that can ACTUALLY sing. I mean look at who they're promoting these days: Rhianna, and this bitch couldn't sing if someone sang for her...it's ridiculous. However, Ms. Hilson is a wonderful writer with an amazing voice, and heartwrenching lyrics. This baby has been through something, and she's singing herself through. I'm a fan....

CHRIS BROWN: *bows to the NEW King of.....everything musical* This lil baby has shut the game DOWN!!!!! He has come in the game and MURDERED the careers of Usher, Mario, Joe, R. Kelly.....everybody. The only person that can even stand in his presence is Ne-yo and that's because Ne-yo is doing his own thing, plus he writes for EVERYBODY. Lil Chris Breezy IS that killer talent. He can sing, dance, and write. He's cute, SEXY, passionate, and still humble in the midst of all of that. He has killed em....all of em! If you don't wanna believe me, or if you don't agree with me....then don't! He's soooo awesome, and you can just SEE that he's gonna be around for a really really long time.

NE-YO: *tips hat at the new gentleman* Ne-yo said before his cd even dropped that it wouldn't be the same as his others, and he wasn't kidding. This man came HARD on all of the songs. They are heartfelt, beautifully written, wonderfully arranged, and all around straight musical. He has MUSIC yall!!!!! You don't really find that much anymore. The album is.....no words for it. It wasn't widely received by the general public....again because it's musical and society...they don't like music, but it was a complete and TOTAL breath of fresh air.

I gotta go home now, but I will finish this blog...if not today, then definitely tomorrow!

Do you and do you well!

A Cool Hennesy Moment....

Lyric of the Day:

Your hands on my hips Pull me right back to you

I catch that thrust Give it right back to you

You're in so deep I'm breathin' for you

You grab my braids Arch my back high for you

Your diesel engine I'm squirting mad oil on

Down on the floor Til my speakers start to boil

I flip shit Quick slip Hip dip And I'm twisted

In your hands and your lips And your tongue tricks

And you're so thick

And you're so big

And you're so Crown Royal on ice

Crown Royal on ice

Crown Royal on ice

Crown Royal on ice
-Jill Scott

I want to lay....
I want to go to work all day, and then come home and lay.....with you.
I want to smell your day on your skin.
I want to kiss your neck and inhale the essence of you.
I want to turn off our phones and enjoy each other.
I want to get in the shower and wash away the worries of your day.
I want to lay you down and massage away the tensions that come along with being you.
I want to lotion you completely while you relax under the touch of my hands.
I want to take away every thought that is not of this moment with me and you.
I want to switch positions and let you massage me.
I want to be taken away by the feel of your hands on my body.
I want to tremble at your touch over and over again.
I want to feel the love and passion leave your hands and soak directly into my body.
I want to feel you.
I want to lay on my back and feel your hand, your mouth, your tongue explore every part of me.
I want to feel the heat being emitted from you.
I want to sense you longing to enter me, but holding back.
I want to feel your heart beating faster.
I want to feel my heart beating faster.
I want to feel an explosion rising inside of me.
I want to feel the euphoric feeling that only you can give.
I want to feel you find that spot.
I want to feel you finally allow me to reach that atmospheric explosion.
I want to come down only to feel you enter into the ecstasy that belongs to you.
I want to relax my body so that maximum penetration is achieved by you.
I want to contract my muscles around you so that you can feel my appreciation.
I want to wrap my arms around your back.
I want to pull you into me until we become one being.
I want to be in sync with you.
I want to reciprocate your every motion.
I want to react to you caressing new spots that I've never known.
I want to feel you breathe onto my neck.
I want to hear you exhale the musings of your soul.
I want to hear you tell me what you want.
I want to give that to you.
I want to feel you grind into me.
I want to feel you grind harder.
I want to feel you escape time and space.
I want to feel you explode.
I want to breathe you in.
I want to roll over and hold you.
I want to lay.....

That.....

Lyric of the Day:

I woke up in heaven today

She kissed me I floated away

Never felt anything so great

Alright now I brace myself for the fight

Something must go wrong cause it's way too right

I'm light as a feather tonight

Cuz I can't feel the ground

Someone let me down

I've never felt so high as I do now

It's too good to be true

I don't deserve you

I never felt the love strong enough to

Stop this world from spinning

-Ne-Yo

What if I told you that you were my happy place? What if I said to you that there's nothing bad that I want to give to you because you are my getaway? What if I told you that hearing your voice makes it all better, that when I'm with you I don't even remember what I'm going through, that even when I'm away from you the thought of you makes me feel better? What if I told you that when I talk to you every single thing melts away? I feel like I'm free, or like I can fly. I try to hold on to every utterance that is exchanged, so that I can remember it later and smile.

What if I told you that you are my high? I breathe you in and hold you until the burn of our impending encounter makes me exhale. What if I told you that you were my drug of choice? The intoxicating aroma that exudes from you. The distinctive smell that only you posses. The way that I drift away when I inhale your brown goodness. My mind isn't in space or time when I wrap my lips around you. I live in habit here. I know what to give to get what I need from you. I know exactly how to roll you up and pull you to take me away.

What if I told you that you've never let me down when I needed you? When I wanted to cry you made me laugh. When I wanted to laugh you made me laugh harder. When I wanted to relax you soothed me. When I wanted to be numb you took away the pain and replaced it when the sensual, tingle that appears when every nerve in your body is awake. You are my happy place. I turn to you when no one else understands me. You help me to understand the thoughts that even I don't get sometimes. You wrap me in a feeling that doesn't release until I'm better. You touch me in places that no one has ever felt. You engulf me in the essence of everything that you are. Your purple goodness is intertwined with every fiber of my being. You are my happy place. You are what keeps me sane. You are the safe haven that I long for daily. You are what you've always been.

That thing.

That place.

That person.

That entity.

That you.

That me.

That us.

That......

Only in a public bathroom...

Lyric of the day:
Sittin on the slopjaw waitin for my bowels to move.
*I gotta doo doo, I gotta gotta doo doo*
If I ain't gotta doo doo I shole got the slopjaw blues!

ONLY in a public bathroom does certain randomness happen. I went to the bathroom on the floor that I work on today. I don't know why I did it. I usually go to the one on the first floor of the building. Anyway...I walked in and this lady, whom I've always thought was a little weird, walked in right in front of me. Nothing major about the way we walked in the bathroom....then she gets her little sani-seat cover and goes in her stall. Then I hear....shouting....I don't know if she really was shouting or not, but there was a mighty uproar of the feet in that stall. My little weird self giggled, and whispered to myself "prais him then". In hind sight I figure she must have been in a tight. So moving forward.... then I hear her sit down and PRESS out a MAJOR fart!!! I mean MAAAAAAAAAAJOR!!!! She then whispered a little grunting noise, and said "scuse me". At this point I am RUNNING out of the stall that I was in....I don't want NO part in that! So whilst washing my hands I hear her grunt again and then BURST into a full solo of "Oh Lord of Lords how majestic is your name in all the Earth". WTF!?!?!?! Are you kidding me??? You've got to be kidding me!!! Yet a-gruntin and a-singing she goes and I am about to kill myself trying to dry my hands, run out of the bathroom, AND NOT BUST OUT LAUGHING!!!! I am spent!!! Where does this shit happen? Only in a place where I am the only soul there to witness it. *sighs* I REEEEEEAAAAALLLLYYY need a reality show!!! I don't know anyone else on earth that has more random happenings than me. If they could capture the lives of me and my friends on TV...that would be entertainment, drama, comedy....EVERYTHING you're looking for.

*sighs*

Until I sign my reality show contract....you do you and do you well!

Get The Hell Over It Already!!!!!

Have you ever met a person who just wouldn't get the fuck over it???
Whatever it may be....they just wouldn't let that shit go. They hold onto it, keep it in the fore-front of their mind, act like they're over it, but WILL NOT fail to find a way to mention the shit every now and again. Get the hell over it already!!!!

I won't sit and act like I don't have an issue or two or three(for that matter) that I hold onto.....but it's mostly love life shit. I hold onto loves of the past, and moments of the past. What I DON'T hold onto is negativity of the past. I have learned in my life that I don't really hold grudges. I think they take too much time and energy, because in that grudge you have to remember that you're mad, remember not to speak the persons name, remember not to talk to them or their friends....its just TOO damn much! *whoo sah*
I, like most people in the world, have had friends to treat me bad, turn their backs on me, talk about me, fuck me over...all that. Even with those friends I eventually say something to them, and eventually get over it because being mad just takes too much energy for me. See I figure that if you were once close to me that we share a certain bond, and that never dies, so.... But unlike lots of people, I have been extremely blessed to have some of the BEST ride or die(literally) friends that anyone could ever hope for. My friends are so amazing that people literally just want to be around them, and have nothing but good things to say about them....they're the greatest!!!
I, like LOTS of people, have not always been the best friend, however. I have had moments when the spoiled bitch in me decided that she didn't care about loyalty....and then I had to deal with the guilt that came along with that decision. I had to apologize for the wrong done. I had to live with that. I will say, however, that when I apologize for something you should RUN to the bank with it, because I sincerely mean that thang. Don't get me wrong...I don't think I've done anything COMPLETELY unforgivable, but I DO know that I have done some shit to some people that at the least made them re-evaluate me. I do hope on hope that in re-evaluating they saw that the good sincerely outweighed the bad.
Now that I've been transparent(so I won't offend anyone) I'm ready to get to the point. In the worst parts of my friendships I have had people to get mad at me or they're friends and never want to get over the shit, but then they can turn around and be some of the most unfriendly, standoff-ish, weirdest, unpleasant, self-inflicting/offlicting people on earth. I just wanna scream at them....GET THE HELL OVER IT ALREADY!!! I mean if you've wronged someone, and they've wronged you in return, but you've both decided to keep the shit moving the get the hell over it already. I mean how long can you actually hold on to stuff? Now I've never been a selfish person...spoiled yes...selfish no. I give what I can and can't to the people that I love who need it. I had a friend tell me that I was "the most inconsiderate, selfish son of a bitch" that she'd ever met. Yea the shit hurt, and I actually asked one of my other friends if the shit was true...just to be justified outside of what I thought of me. He told me no. His answer didn't undermine what she'd said...shit that's what she was feeling, but even in that I still talk to her. She's one of my folk. I fux heavily with her, because even past that she's a wonderful person(whether she wants to believe it or not). I love her to death. Now I'm not saying that just because I decided to keep it pushing past that instance that it's that simple....well it really kinda is. It's like this...did what they do or say make you never want to be in their presence again? Is what they did/said COMPLETELY unforgivable. Do they give you more reasons to NOT be there friend than they give reasons to be their friend? Is it worth it to be their friend?
It's really that simple. I mean...shit happens. Either get gone, or get the hell over it already.
You'd be soooo surprised how many stories I hear everyday where one person or another really should just get over it. I'm sick of it all. PEOPLE PLEASE JUST LET THE SHIT GO....especially if it was more than a year ago. Like who holds onto that shit??? That's just lame. If you think that people are intentionally hurting you, or will always hurt you then keep the shit pushing. Don't just sit there in it and make people deal with YOUR ornery ass. I'm sick of it. Maybe I should just start telling people(and myself) to GET THE HELL OVER IT. Here's a list of shit that I've heard about in the last couple of weeks that IIIIII believe that people should just get the hell over.

*disclaimer: this is stuff that I'VE personally experienced/been confronted with just THIS week. If your situation is listed, then I've probably already told you to get over it in some form or fashion. ALSO...all of this is Null and Void if you want to stay where you are. That's your business and if you like it, hell I love it. :) If you get offended...I sincerely apologize to you, but since this is my blog I can say what I want. Selah*

A dude/girl lied to you-
*either you're gonna keep dealing with him or you're not...its not hard at all. Make the necessary decision that works for you and then get the hell over it.

A dude/girl that you liked chose to like your friend-
*really nothing that you can do about this shit. I mean I'm sure the other person wasn't PERSONALLY attacking you by NOT liking you back. I mean, dude, you like who you like. In this same instance you're either gonna walk around mad a the dude/girl AND/OR your friend over some bullshit, or you're going to realize that THE WORLD IS NOT AGAINST YOU!!! No one is personally attacking you!!! It's not personal...it is what it is....enjoy the persons company and get the hell over it already!!!

A dude/girl fucked you and then didn't call-
*...no brainer. The shit happens. When you choose to screw random or not so random people and ya'll aren't together, that's the chance that you take. The truth of the matter is that no one is obligated to call after they get the dick/pussy. Essentially they got what the hell they wanted. If you can't deal with that reality then DON'T RANDOMLY FUCK!!! In this situation you HAVE TO just get the hell over it already!!!

You've been dealing with a girl/dude for years and he picks someone over you-
*Lord Jesus *sighs* this one is a little more personal for me, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't say the same damn thing to ME! GET THE HELL OVER THE SHIT AND MOVE THE FUCK ON OR STAY AND BE HAPPY WITH IT!!!! See when emotions are involved (man/woman emotions) in a situation it seems so much harder to let go than with just random people, and even friends. But real talk you'll only hurt yourself in the end. I mean either you're gonna get over the anger/hurt/weirdness(whatever you're feeling) for the dude/girl and keep "dealing" with him/her, or you're gonna cut him/her off and keep it pushing(as hard as it is), OR you're gonna deal with him/her and whoever else you wanna deal with also. See you have options that will help you get the hell over it already!

People treat someone you hang with better than they treat you-
*Very simple....first ask yourself how the hell have you been treating people. Is it possible...just possible that your ass is rude as hell!!!! You may just treat people like you don't want them around you, and because of that even if you're around they try to act like you're not there. Could that POSSIBLY be it??? People aren't always mean because they don't like you. Sometimes its just that YOU aren't that friendly. Seriously!!! Now sometimes people are nicer to people around you because they just don't like you...and to that you just have to say "SCREW YOU PAL" and keep that shit pushing. If someone has no reason to treat you sideways then pull them aside, send them and email, a text, or something to let them know how you feel. Real talk...if it's not someone that is important then get the hell over it already....it really ain't that serious.

People seem to only want one or two things from you-
*Very simple....if they don't appreciate you for who you are COMPLETELY, not just the parts that they need from you....kick them to the damn curb. You don't really want someone like that in your circle. If someone can put up with your bullshit and still be your friend then...they're a keeper. However, if someone acts up because you tell them no(to whatever request that they have) then keep it pushing WITHOUT THEM....or in other words....get the hell over them already!

The truth of the matter is that you know who you are or are not gonna deal with. If you know that you're gonna forgive them then why waste the time and effort to stay mad to make yourself feel better. I mean dude, you're either gonna cut them off or deal with them...it's that simple. Either way you go you still have/need to just get the hell over it already!

Debauchery, Carryin on, and History!!!!!

Well....
I took a blogging break on yesterday because I was just SOOOOOO full! I didn't have anything to say. There were no words to express how amazing it felt to actually SEE the first EVER African-American President elected in the United States of America!!!! *exhales*
We have a Black President....just gotta let that soak in for a minute.....

Okay I'm back. It is indeed an amazing feeling to see how far we've come as a nation. Even when people want to say that he's bi-racial...yeah he is, but when have you ever known a white person to look at a half white person and call them white....NOT NEVA!!!! But even if that is your pet peeve, guess what....MICHELLE IS COMPLETELY BLACK!!! Can we pause for a moment of silence for the lovely Michelle Obama....

Okay I'm back. I'm so excited....I am just overwhelmed with excitement!!!!

No complaints today....none needed!
Selah

These Arms of Mine

Lyric of the day pt. 2: These arms of mine, they are burning,Burning from wanting you.These arms of mine, they are wanting,Wanting to hold you. -Otis Redding

If you know me, then you know that I've always been a HUGE fan of music...particularly from the 50's and 60's. To understand the Heartsongs of a Churchgirl, you have to understand the music and the people that contribute to those songs.

Since I was little I've always loved the melodies of songs from the 50's and 60's. Their songs just always seemed to have so much more substance. Even if they weren't saying anything SUPER deep they said it in a way that could draw you in and make you believe in whatever they were talking about. They were passionate about the artistry of music. They didn't sing random shit just to make it to the top of the Billboards. Their love songs had a deeper meaning. Much deeper than the "I love you, let's fuck" music that we have now. Their love music had a way of actually making you fall in love with whomever you wished in that moment. It was soul. It was sincere Rhythm and Blues. It was sincere.....

One of my favorite Uncles was in his Teen/Early 20's during this time. We would always talk about the music from back then, because the songs that I had just "found" were the songs that he grew up on. It became a ritual for me to find an old song, mostly Jackie Wilson(both his and my fav) and Otis Redding, and tell him about it and then he tell me what was going on in his life when that song came out. It always amazed me that me humming a little piece of "Lonely Teardrops"(Jackie) or "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay"(Otis) could make him recall FULL detailed memories....the power of music is amazing! We would talk and talk about what I liked about the songs. How the excitement in Jackie's voice was something to be imitated, and the passion in Otis' voice made you wanna cry. That was our place. That's where we connected. That's what we shared.
When my uncle got killed last year I tried to explain this bond to one of my friends and he just couldn't understand how something so small could extract such powerful emotion. All I could tell him was "that was our special place". A couple of months ago I was feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to ALL the Otis Redding songs I could find. I came across a song called "These Arms of Mine" and thought that my heart would break. But in that sad moment a smile spread across my face. I began to smile because listening to the words of this song I KNEW that my Uncle had made a few girls fall in love with him to this song, lol. It was at that moment that I felt the connection again. See, when he died I just KNEW that I'd never connect to him in this way ever again. I got so happy at that moment...it was almost as if he was standing by me with those loving eyes letting me know that he was still with me. That feeling was indescribable. There was in immense joy in the midst of sadness. I cried because I missed, and I smiled because I was glad that I'd been able to share that with him. Just him and me.

To this day I can't listen to that song without tearing up. I even asked my mom about it. When I said the name of the song she burst into a FULL solo, and began to re-live the house party that my Grandparents let my Uncle have and how he let her come out of the room to dance with him...on that song. When she said it I just started laughing.... It was almost like I felt my Uncle sitting up there laughing and saying "See Cuz I'm still witcha".

So as I sit at my desk, yes I'm crying but its okay, I can relate to the lyrics of this song....but in a different way "These arms of mine, they are wanting,Wanting to hold you". Like everyone who's lost someone close I wish that I could talk to him again. I wish that I could see his face again. I wish I could hear him laugh again. I want to see him walk through Grandma's front door carrying soda's, smiling, laughing out a "Hey!!! There's my favorite Cuz". I want to talk to him about this song and hear his perspective on what was going on in his world when this song premiered. I want hug him, and smell the mill on his clothes. I want to see him pull up in the lil red truck with some sort of animal on the back from his hunting trips. I want to see my buddy, my dad figure, my special connection, my friend, MY UNCLE.

I don't want to think about him and my eyes fill with tears. I don't want to have to visit a cemetary and talk to the hollow shell of what was once FULL of life. I don't want to believe someone would kill MY Uncle over something that was so far removed from him. I don't want to know that at every family gathering he won't be there, and there will ALWAYS be something missing. I don't want to believe that he was taken too soon. I don't want to think about the fact that I lost my 50's music buddy, and now its just me to appreciate it.

I want to smile again....
I want to be happy....
I know he wouldn't want us doing this, so I'll keep pressing to remember everything that he was, is, and will always be....My Big Cuz!

God Bless the Broken Road

Song of the day:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus:]Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rollin' home into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

-Rascal Flatts

If every long lost dream does indeed lead me to where "you" are then I am promised to the best "you" ever. I believe that God does bless the roads we travel on in life to lead us exactly where we need to go....be it to that "you" that everyone is looking for, or not. I want to believe that God has a bigger plan to lead all of us to our own individual "you's", but then you have to get into the perfect and permissive wills of God and that's just TOO much to think about so early in the morning. So I will live in my fairytale and dream dreams of the PERFECT "you". *sighs*

We like to believe that the ones that broke our hearts are the worst people on earth. We want to think that they are scum, and that they have no heart, and that they are selfish immature bastards because they didn't follow the plan that we'd set out....we being both partners or just one partner who hopes that the other participates. I've been there. I've thought it. I've believed it....but its not all completely true. See, I did everything I thought I was supposed to do for the "you" that I thought belonged to me....didn't work. So when it ended...per se...I cried, and died, and tried to figure out "how could he do this to me?" I mean it was a valid question at the time, but when I think back there was so much I could have done....not for him, but for me. Had I made MYSELF happy in the situation he would have gotten to meet ME, and not the person I was portraying...the person I thought he wanted to see. Had I let him meet ME it wouldn't have been such a blow if he did decide to leave, because I wouldn't have had to continuously go over all of the details of everything IIIII had done wrong. I mean don't get me wrong, he was a dog ass muthafucka, but I decided not to pay attention to those details. I looked at how he made me feel, the voids that he filled, the way he talked to me, the way he touched me....all very shallow things, and you KNOW you can't build a home on an unstable foundation. *lightbulb moment*

So....I like to believe that the one that broke my heart is the northern star that's leading me to where my "you" is. You ever notice how when there's road work and you have to detour you always get something out of it? You either learn a new way to get to the places you were meant to be, or you see something (like an I pooted. billboard) that just makes your day a little better, OR you are kept from the life altering accident that COULD have happened? I like to believe he was the big flashing detour sign that sent me ALL around the direction that I thought I needed to go in. Sometimes I want to say he WAS the big accident that I should have gone around, but I can't. It's kinda like when you are leisurely(sp?) going somewhere and you have to detour....you don't really wanna do it, but it also doesn't really bother you that much. It's in that time that you get to sit and listen to the radio, hear a new song, laugh at people in traffic, talk to someone you have spoken to in a while....something. It's something that happened that I didn't want to, but it was also that thing that made me just a little bit better. It gave me a little more information. I learned the song that my heart had been TRYING to get out. It was the best detour I could have imagined, because now that I've learned that lesson I KNOW that I'm being pointed in the right direction. I learned enough about me that I don't have to do the "what if" song and dance even if the next relationship doesn't work. I'm going forward with my eyes wide open. The road(or heart) has been broken, cracked, curved, and blocked but it was all for a purpose.....it's ALL part of a grander plan that is coming true!

So now I'm just waiting to roll on into my love's arms.... :-)

Oh Happy Day!!!

Lyric of the Day: It's a great day to be alive. I know the sun's still shining when I close my eyes. There's some hard times in the neighborhood, but why can't everyday be just this good?
-Travis Tritt

Standing at the edge of the most important election in American history....literally. Living in the midst of the worst financial crisis....EVER. Struggling JUST to make ends at LEAST come close enough to catch a glimpse of each other. Working for waaaaaaaay less than I'm worth....
Looking at all of the realities of my life I can still say that today was indeed a wonderful day!!!!
Have you ever had a day that was good just because? Like....you don't really do anything special. You don't really go anywhere special. You're just in a good mood! It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, and you just feel good! That was my day today. I had a great night with a old new friend(I guess that what I'll call him today).....go figure. Wonderful good ole country conversation with him and my roommate. I woke up when my body decided to wake up. Went grocery shopping with my momma. Watched some WONDERFUL movies. That's it....that's pretty much all I did....ALL DAY! Sometimes the mental breaks are the best moments in life. I didn't have to live the facade that most people have to live everyday. I didn't have to be too city-fied like you sometimes have to be here. I didn't have to be politically correct. I was free to just be good ole me! I've been in a great mood ALL day!
So I may not have much to speak about today, but am happy so that's cool with me!!!

HELP!!!! I'm a sidepiece....and I know it!

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A Life Without Love

"Can't stop smiling, then I feel like crying. Laughter and heartache and we're all looking for something. Tears flow with no end, but then he makes me smile again. My joy and my pain, but I wouldn't trade it for nothing. Never thought it'd be this rough, but I never want to give it up. I don't wanna have a life without love"-Jazmine Sullivan

A life without love is mediocre at best. Not knowing love is the greatest injustice on earth, aside from knowing love and having it taken away from you without being able to do anything to stop it. As little girls we watch and read fairytales of beautiful princesses who are essentially the epitome of good. Something bad happens to them and their prince comes and saves them. That prince is EVERYTHING that they've ever dreamed of and they SAVE them. Yes darlings, despite what we say we ALL just want to be saved. So when we get older we begin to watch and read longer fairytales called romance novels and movies. We hold on to the fact that in the books/movies something TERRIBLE is gonna happen, and the girl(or princess) is gonna end up hurt, but by the end of the movie the man(or prince) comes up with the most romantic way to say "I'm sorry. I was wrong", and she cries, they kiss and hug, and they live happily ever after! THEN to add alcohol to the OPEN cut.......CARRIE AND MR. BIGG GET MARRIED...flatlines.....wakes up.....flatlines again.
Who the fuck are these twisted bastards that are TRYING to make us put up with stupid bullshit so that find that fairytale/Sex And The City ending? Who do you know ON EARTH that ended up with their Mr. BIGG....not one single solitary bitch! Sorry if the Bword offends you. This shit doesn't happen...so now you end up alone....
So what is a life without love??? Darkness. Complete and total darkness. The only light you see is the light you make yourself, and after a while that light is too dim to make you want to keep it going. A life without love is tiring...very tiring, because you're always looking, searching, expecting, hoping, wishing, planning, praying that its right around the corner....and at every corner you turn you still find....nothing.
So what's a girl to do??? Keep hoping. Keep pressing. Keep praying, because eventually something is bound to happen, and even if it doesn't its when you lose hope that the world becomes dark and cold. Now I don't claim to be a beacon of light and hope but I will say that I can't give up on a life with love. Why? Because I was made to love and if that hope dies in me, so will I. If the hope of my soul does perish, so do I. When the light of hope flickers and burns out, so do I. Because essentially I am love. I give love. I write love. I sing love. I hope for love. I do love. I receive love. I....want....love.
I want a love that stays up all night talking. A love that smiles when I walk in a room. A love that is honest at all times. A love that likes to play. A love that likes to laugh. A love that calls to say "Baby I was thinking about you, and I just want to say I love you"....and MEAN it. A love that won't take my generosity for granted. A love that appreciates the effort. A love that sends a text just because. A love that WANTS to get married. A love that is with me because of me, and not because of what I possess(sp). A love that talks to me deeper than any talk I've had before. A love that speaks to my soul causing an awakening that I didn't know I needed. A love that tears down the wall around my heart. A love that will dance in the Purple Rain with me. A love that loves my friends, but doesn't WANT them in the same way that he wants me. I want a love of a lifetime. A story to tell my grandkids kind of love. A love that will look at me in 50 years and still believe that I am the prettiest woman in the world. An old love. A love that transcends space and time. A love that traps you and won't let you go, because he never wants to let you go. A man to woman love. A grown up kind of love. An I was made for you type of love. A life changing love. A REAL LOVE.
So what's a life without love??? I hope to never know its sadness. I hope to never feel its chill. I hope to never understand its full meaning, because I am pressing for the love of a lifetime, and hoping that MY Mr. Bigg is pressing for me too! :-)

Creepin...

So I thought that I would be able to start blogging off on a happy note....not gonna happen.
Everyone who knows me, KNOWS I have been known to carry my share of creep bags(or big purses). It's no secret that I like sex. I like everything about sex. I think there's something about the illicitness of it all that makes it even better. I'm sure everyone can atest to the rush that you get when you jump in the shower, get yourself cleaned up, wash your shug...um...private areas, lol, and then get in the car to go wherever it is that person lives. The ride there is full of anxiety. You imagine what you're gonna do when you get there. What you're gonna talk about....if you decide to talk at all. Exactly how much of the business you're gonna give. How good you're gonna let the head be. All sorts of things go through your mind. It's exciting!!!! No one can say that it isn't. Just the thought of getting dick sends you ABSOLUTELY over the edge....*did I just write myself into a creepbag moment??? hmmm*
HOWEVER.....(should have known it was coming) what's the point in the end? Exactly what is it that you're doing it for? Essentially sex is only as good as the memory that contains it. After that you just have to keep creating new memories, because real talk there is NO WAY to maintain on one sexual memory. If you think about it the act of sex is AMAZING, especially when all parties involved do it right, but what is it that makes you go back????.....the MEMORY! Yes...the memory of sex it what keeps you going back over and over and over again. Driving miles and miles, waiting hours and hours to get a new memory. So.....my question is when is this not enough? When does the creep bag grow old? How long can you simply fuck and fall asleep(or go home)? When does the meaning of it all appear? What happens when feelings come??? AH HA!!!!*LIGHTBULB* Creeping is cool right until you catch ONE feeling...then its a wrap! You go from enjoying the experience to wanting the time. From liking the freedom to wanting to be tied down. From fucking and leaving to wanting to spend time. From going JUST to fuck to fucking just to be around them. You have fallen out of love with the creep honey! It's a natural progression....*I guess...hehe*
At this point the shit that you NEVER cared one little bit about begins to hurt your feelings. The girl that you KNEW he had goes from less than a thought to the thorn of your existence. The way that he used to fuck the shit out of you doesn't feel as good because now you want him to be intimate. You begin to hope that you fucking him just the way he likes, when he likes, how he likes, WHATEVER he likes(shout out to TI) will make him want you to be his main. You do everything in your power to make sure that he remembers all the things about you that you remember about him. You hope on top of hope that when its all said and done you're the one for him. **NEWSFLASH** IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! *just breathe and take it in for a minute* It's never gonna happen that way honey. He'll keep finding a main, and you KEEP being his MAIN SIDEPIECE!!!! I mean sure he loves you in a special way, but not in THAT special way(it's all in the wording). He cares about you in a deep way(as in if you die he'd be really sad, but probably not cry), but he doesn't deeply care for you. He's probably, by this point, one of your best friends....sorry to break it to you but YOU ARE NOT HIS BEST FRIEND!!! You've created a world that makes you happy where you two exist as a couple in your "own special way", and you love him and you show it ALL the time. And you KNOOOOOW he loves you because "he called me today to come by and see me". This shit is NOT real! He doesn't love you, he loves your head and your pussy....end of story.
So...now that I've preached to myself I have to ask....when do you give up on this addiction(because that's really what it is)??? When do you rehab yourself? When do you become the priority to yourself? When does the past STOP effecting your present and your future? Maybe you two DID have something, but its over. When is enough actually enough? How many GIRLFRIENDS does he have to have, while you're still his homegirl? How many pictures do you have to see? When will your pussy let go of the dick that it loves so much?(umm..never...you just gotta fight that one..sorry :-S) What I'm saying is when will you move on???
Perfect example of how you need to break out while you're young enough to do it. I was recently sitting at *name extracted*'s house. My roommate and I were just up talking and she comes in FULLY dressed and ready to go....AT MIDNIGHT THIRTY!!!! Me being the borderline whore that I am I thought "I know where you're going, what you're about to do, how you're about to do it, and hey...get you some boo, cuz I JUST got mine". I laughed and SERIOUSLY thought it was funny right until I went home and to bed. Everyone knows that this blog is just giving me all the life I need right now, so I was thinking about what I would blog about when I got to work. While I was laying there I began to think....creepin has gone TOO FAR when you are past 40 and still doing it....WITH THE SAME PERSON. That's just too much!!!! After you've been with this person for over 30 years. You've had a child by him. He's had a child by your friend, and a string of girlfriends and you STILL think you have seniority the shit has OFFICIALLY gone TOO FUCKIN FAR!!!! How long can you creep??? If after a few years (if that long) NOTHING more comes out of it please believe that nothing will....sorry. Creepin will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT change your relationship/life. (Sidebar: As females we honestly believe that pussy will make a nigga do anything we want...and for the most part we're right, BUT if he don't want you the "BEST PUSSY IN THE WORLD" won't make him change his mind.)
LYRIC OF THE DAY: "They'll be good days and bad days sometime. Just don't let the bad days change your mind. Dig down deep in your heart and you'll see that the bad days don't change who we be"
.....BULLSHIT!!!! This lyric was OBVIOUSLY written by a man who was in control of the situation, but needed to spit something to his side chick to make her stay. Yea they'll always be good days and bad days, but shit....when you have to KEEP holding on to the OLD good days its time to keep it pushin!
So....after saying all of this I will say CREEPING IS GREAT.....if you do it right. Fortunately I have been blessed with friends who KNOW how to creep right, so I've learned well. Unfortunately I slipped up and began to creep with someone that I loved.....BIG FUCKIN MISTAKE. Now don't get my swagga twisted I gets mine.....often, but the boss between my legs still exhales when that one nigga sticks his Mr. in my Mrs. *sighs*, but seeing as how I WILL NOT creep for 30 years I guess the boss between my legs will have to take one for the home team.
So as I press to keep my creepbag clean, and my creepin in order I'll say....you do you, and do you well!
Have fun!

Heartsongs of a Churchgirl #1

Well....
I made it....my first blog! I'm EXTREMELY excited. I should warn all who read this that I am NOT doing this for anybody for me. I will be completely honest, and by honest I mean that I won't hold ANYTHING back. It's time for me to free up some mental space :-)
I was all ready and excited to write what I was feeling today, but its time for me to go home so I guess I'll truly start tomorrow.....or not. I have soooooooo much to say I don't even know where to start.
But until I do...do you!