Friday, November 7, 2008

Only in a public bathroom...

Lyric of the day:
Sittin on the slopjaw waitin for my bowels to move.
*I gotta doo doo, I gotta gotta doo doo*
If I ain't gotta doo doo I shole got the slopjaw blues!

ONLY in a public bathroom does certain randomness happen. I went to the bathroom on the floor that I work on today. I don't know why I did it. I usually go to the one on the first floor of the building. Anyway...I walked in and this lady, whom I've always thought was a little weird, walked in right in front of me. Nothing major about the way we walked in the bathroom....then she gets her little sani-seat cover and goes in her stall. Then I hear....shouting....I don't know if she really was shouting or not, but there was a mighty uproar of the feet in that stall. My little weird self giggled, and whispered to myself "prais him then". In hind sight I figure she must have been in a tight. So moving forward.... then I hear her sit down and PRESS out a MAJOR fart!!! I mean MAAAAAAAAAAJOR!!!! She then whispered a little grunting noise, and said "scuse me". At this point I am RUNNING out of the stall that I was in....I don't want NO part in that! So whilst washing my hands I hear her grunt again and then BURST into a full solo of "Oh Lord of Lords how majestic is your name in all the Earth". WTF!?!?!?! Are you kidding me??? You've got to be kidding me!!! Yet a-gruntin and a-singing she goes and I am about to kill myself trying to dry my hands, run out of the bathroom, AND NOT BUST OUT LAUGHING!!!! I am spent!!! Where does this shit happen? Only in a place where I am the only soul there to witness it. *sighs* I REEEEEEAAAAALLLLYYY need a reality show!!! I don't know anyone else on earth that has more random happenings than me. If they could capture the lives of me and my friends on TV...that would be entertainment, drama, comedy....EVERYTHING you're looking for.


Until I sign my reality show do you and do you well!


Lina said...

LMAO....Hell naw. Know I wouldn't have made it out without laughing.

Skyler Nicole said...

i am CRYING laughing right now... This blog right here has completely given me my laugh of the week... Oh honey - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU for sharing this blog with the people!!!!!!! My stomach hurts...


t.Blue said...

U sure it wasn't ur mother??? Sounds JEST like smn she'd do. Lol

PhlyyGirl said...

ROFLDYING!!!! Who does that!?!?
I couldn't have made it out of the bathroom without cracking up. The thing is, now you know who the woman is, how you gonna look at her in the face in the hallways?!?!