God Bless the Broken Road

Song of the day:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus:]Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rollin' home into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

-Rascal Flatts

If every long lost dream does indeed lead me to where "you" are then I am promised to the best "you" ever. I believe that God does bless the roads we travel on in life to lead us exactly where we need to go....be it to that "you" that everyone is looking for, or not. I want to believe that God has a bigger plan to lead all of us to our own individual "you's", but then you have to get into the perfect and permissive wills of God and that's just TOO much to think about so early in the morning. So I will live in my fairytale and dream dreams of the PERFECT "you". *sighs*

We like to believe that the ones that broke our hearts are the worst people on earth. We want to think that they are scum, and that they have no heart, and that they are selfish immature bastards because they didn't follow the plan that we'd set out....we being both partners or just one partner who hopes that the other participates. I've been there. I've thought it. I've believed it....but its not all completely true. See, I did everything I thought I was supposed to do for the "you" that I thought belonged to me....didn't work. So when it ended...per se...I cried, and died, and tried to figure out "how could he do this to me?" I mean it was a valid question at the time, but when I think back there was so much I could have done....not for him, but for me. Had I made MYSELF happy in the situation he would have gotten to meet ME, and not the person I was portraying...the person I thought he wanted to see. Had I let him meet ME it wouldn't have been such a blow if he did decide to leave, because I wouldn't have had to continuously go over all of the details of everything IIIII had done wrong. I mean don't get me wrong, he was a dog ass muthafucka, but I decided not to pay attention to those details. I looked at how he made me feel, the voids that he filled, the way he talked to me, the way he touched me....all very shallow things, and you KNOW you can't build a home on an unstable foundation. *lightbulb moment*

So....I like to believe that the one that broke my heart is the northern star that's leading me to where my "you" is. You ever notice how when there's road work and you have to detour you always get something out of it? You either learn a new way to get to the places you were meant to be, or you see something (like an I pooted. billboard) that just makes your day a little better, OR you are kept from the life altering accident that COULD have happened? I like to believe he was the big flashing detour sign that sent me ALL around the direction that I thought I needed to go in. Sometimes I want to say he WAS the big accident that I should have gone around, but I can't. It's kinda like when you are leisurely(sp?) going somewhere and you have to detour....you don't really wanna do it, but it also doesn't really bother you that much. It's in that time that you get to sit and listen to the radio, hear a new song, laugh at people in traffic, talk to someone you have spoken to in a while....something. It's something that happened that I didn't want to, but it was also that thing that made me just a little bit better. It gave me a little more information. I learned the song that my heart had been TRYING to get out. It was the best detour I could have imagined, because now that I've learned that lesson I KNOW that I'm being pointed in the right direction. I learned enough about me that I don't have to do the "what if" song and dance even if the next relationship doesn't work. I'm going forward with my eyes wide open. The road(or heart) has been broken, cracked, curved, and blocked but it was all for a purpose.....it's ALL part of a grander plan that is coming true!

So now I'm just waiting to roll on into my love's arms.... :-)